Why blogs suck (or why I suck at blogging)

OK I lied. There’s nothing wrong with blogs. In fact, they’re so good, I’m doing one myself (even if I only post once in a blue moon). The thing is, the promise of a blog is to be a stress reliever. Just dump out everything that’s on your mind for all the world to see. And every once in a while, maybe what you have to say actually means something to someone. You imagine the energy that comes from making a difference propelling you toward the next insightful post, and each post eventually writing itself.

But for me, that’s not how it goes. As soon as one post goes up, the clock starts ticking toward the next one. Blogs. Never. Die. They sit there waiting. Taunting you. Silently shrieking for attention, nipping at your virtual pant leg for attention.

Discover & share this The Walking Dead GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

Unmaintained blogs are the walkers of the internet. Life goes on, but we always know in the back of our minds they’re coming for us. Careening toward us with their desperate, limpy shuffle like a tidal wave of old Jell-O® to suck our brains dry of any new ideas we “think the world should know.”

Maybe I’m just a bad blogger. Or maybe you guys expect too much if you think I’m going to write more than every couple of years. Well I’m here to tell you now: Yes, I have a blog. No, it’s not going away. Yes, I know no one reads it. And no, I’m not going to delete it. Because I made this damn thing. And I wrote the words that are sitting on a dusty shelf somewhere in the digital ether.

Somehow, as “it’s complicated” as my whole blog relationship is, I still can’t quit it. So here I sit, again, if again still counts after years of not againning, writing another post. For whom? I couldn’t tell you. If you’ve actually read this, you’re no smarter, enlightened or better looking than when you started. Maybe it’s just for me. I’ve made a career of writing words the whole industry knows no one reads, so hey, why stop now?

Blog on, Copy Boy. Blog on.

The Five Steps of Getting Laid Off and Going Freelance

In mid-May of 2017, I was laid off from my job at Crispin Porter+Bogusky. It's the second time I've been laid off in the volatile advertising industry, but the first time I've decided to go without a net and become a freelance creative. For my own therapy as much as your edification, here's what I've gone through. I call it the Five Steps of Getting Laid Off and Going Freelance. Catchy title, huh?

STEP ONE: Why???
CP+B was my dream job. I got there in 2009 and felt like I had been called up from the minor leagues to the Yankees. I actually carved out a place for myself there. Built a department. Was named Soul of the Agency a couple years ago. Then I was called in for "the conversation." You can tell it's coming. The air is still, and no one is smiling. I've been on the other side of these conversations, and I know they're not easy. I also know it never gets easier when you're the one being let go. I had done nothing wrong. Just business. But what put me on the bottom of the list where it made sense to pick me off? Nothing. Just business. I could obsess on this for the rest of my life, and to some extent, I probably will. But I have to take what I was told at face value, because what I kept coming back to is that I know I gave everything of myself, and everything was pretty damn good. Whatever they needed to do, it happened. No turning back. No changing a thing. I can be proud of what I did. Maybe it would've been easier if I could look back and say I'd do something differently. Time to move on. Why will never have a satisfactory answer.

STEP TWO: What the hell am I going to do?
(Inner dialogue transcript) What am I going to do? I've got three kids. A wife. A mortgage. A cable bill. Holycowholycrapholyshit. First step, start breathing. Everyone I know who's been laid off has gotten through it. But they're not me. Yeah, but you're you. You've made it through a lot of stuff like this before. Like you said, you have three kids. That's not easy, and you're making it up as you go every day. True, but... One thing at a time. What's really important to you? When you put it that way, it's family. Happy family, happy life. OK, cool. So what's going to keep them happy? I've got to make money somehow. Now. Burger King is hiring. Can't take that long to rise to manager, right? Why don't you do what you do already? You're good at it. At least people say you are. Start somewhere. Maybe I'm scared, OK? What if I fail? What choice do you have? Let's do this.

STEP THREE: Wait, you can do this.
I knew I could do. it somehow. Life even made it easier by making sure my partner was laid off too. We both want to stay in Colorado. We both have kids to worry about. We've both been making ads for a long time. And we don't approach things any way but at full speed. I couldn't have a better friend to face this with, and my hope is he feels the same way. We've solved a lot of problems together. This is just another one, and we have the tools to do it. Like every other problem, it's just about faking it until people believe you have the solution. Then you do. 

STEP FOUR: Hey, life's pretty good.
It took about a week. Contacting everyone on the planet. Putting together a site (daveandpeter.com, btw). Meeting with people, mostly for coffee. Staying up late not because of worrying about jobs, but because of so many meetings over coffee. And it started to pay off. We got people coming to us. I got to see my family again. The kids have grown in the last seven-and-a-half years. Seeing daylight. Then working. On our time. On our terms. With a friend who's very good at his craft. All of a sudden, advertising's fun. Wait, no. Life's fun. This is going to work. And if not, you can get hired. You know you can. 

STEP FIVE: Thank you.
Never thought I'd say this. I might still take it back. Well, probably not. Because I've learned a ton about how to make myself into a business. About facing challenges. About myself. I even learned I might not to do work in advertising at all one day, and I'm actually cool with that. I have no idea what I'd want to do, but if I come up with it, I'm ready. Thanks for pushing me out of the nest. Thanks for giving me my life back. Thanks for giving me better relationships with my family and friends. Thanks for helping me remember a smile and laugh I'd forgotten. Not that I didn't smile and laugh before. Every day was amazing. This is just different. Maybe it's because I know it's all going to work out. 

When the Best is the Worst, and Vice-Versa

Yes, I was part of the team behind the Best Buy Serial tweet. You might have heard about it. Seems to me like everybody did. And for Serial listeners, the audience it was intended for, the reaction was highly positive. They had listened through an episode where the discussion was almost all about whether there was a pay phone at a Best Buy or not. We had seen through social listening (wait, seeing through listening? ok whatever) that people found the episode a little absurd and definitely joke-worthy. But when we hopped into the conversation with an insider joke, the non-Serial-listening population called it an outrage. 

Within 20 minutes, we were the subject of an article on Mashable and other sites as far-reaching as Australia. Serial had retweeted us, as had Ira Glass. And then the cascade of hateful comments about Best Buy's insensitivity rolled in. How can they comment on something as sacred as the death of a girl? Why were they trying to capitalize on such a tragic event?

Best Buy took the tweet down and replaced it with an apology. 

We deeply apologize for our earlier tweet about Serial. It lacked good judgment and doesn’t reflect the values of our company. We are sorry.

— Best Buy (@BestBuy) December 11, 2014

And then something interesting happened (see the responses to the apology). People stood up for us. A lot of people. And there was interesting, intelligent discussion about whether we should have tweeted or not. By the next day, Best Buy social sentiment hit an all-time high, and its Twitter followers had grown significantly. All I know is, in the end, it was a reminder of the brief attention span people have for social. Other than a handful of journalists needing an example of a tweet gone awry, there's been nary a mention since a few days after the tweet. And the brand sparked thoughtful conversation not only about the subject of the tweet, but about where the line is for brands on social media.

Needless to say, I've thought about this a lot. I've got lots of questions, and I still don't have all the answers. 

• What if the first article had been written by someone who had actually listened to the podcast? (I assume initial sentiment would've been different, but it would've netted out the same)
• Why is it ok for some brands to talk about it (Sesame Street!) but not others? (sometimes they just are)
• Was it ok to comment on what we saw as entertainment, regardless of the subject? (we should've realized it could be taken another way)
• Should Best Buy have issued an apology? (we actually recommended not to)
• Should we have done it in the first place? 
• Would I do it again? 

"Next time, on Serial..."

First post!

Package: important. Taste: not.

Um.

While both are obnoxious, is this...

...really more effective than this?

Exclamation mark added for user excitement, although I started writing without deciding what I'm going to write about. But since we're on the subject of exclamation marks, I might as well start there. Not a hugely controversial stance, but I contend they don't have a place in advertising.

Maybe it's a little extreme to say they don't have a place at all, but they're used so often without proper consideration that we as an industry (and I'm using that broadly, all the way down to handmade signs) have devalued their original purpose.  

I told a writer the other day that they should use an exclamation mark as if it cost a million dollars each time. Kind of makes you think about what's important. And in all honesty, most things we have to say just aren't that important. 

Hey Facebook fans!
Assuming you did this to get my attention, but I'm already reading it so you had me at "Hey."

New and Improved!
First of all, I'm hoping if it's new that the newness would be an improvement. Second, if you believe I'm going to think the news is big enough, you don't have to yell it.

Find out more!
If I'm interested enough to wonder about the details, I'll find the link to get them. It's probably huge and red anyway.

You get the point. And hopefully you agree. Most working writers do already get this, but a lot of new writers come out of school with !'s blazin'.

Let's all just stop, ok? 

One more thing: I do like exclamation points in passwords where they're hidden from human eyes. But before you go hacking into all my accounts, know that I don't always use them. Cool? Cool.